Canadian band The Bare Naked Ladies were playing music for a private party of Canadian celebrities during New Years when lo and behold they heard a clatter on the roof. The Bare Naked Ladies ceased playing their infernal monotonous music and listened to the strange clattering on the roof.
"It is too late for Santa Claus," mused David Suzuki.
"Must be a prank!" laughed Wayne Gretzky, drinking champagne like the world was going to end any minute. (Gretzky is known as an alcoholic in celebrity circles.)
There was more stomping on the roof and all the celebrities looked bewildered. Anne Murray was in the bathroom playing with herself when she heard it too.
Pamela Anderson, unusually sober, went to the door and went outside to look out on the roof. Many of the celebrities followed her, curious.
"Eeek!" screamed Pamela, pointing at the roof.
And there was Don Cherry on the roof with the entire 1972 Canadian Olympic Hockey Team (including the dead ones who he had dug up and stuffed in the gear and jerseys) trying to play a game of ice hockey on the slippery roof.
Her scream startled Don Cherry and slipped, slid off the roof and landed on Pamela Anderson.
The Bare Naked Ladies screamed and fainted.
Trying to stand up and extricate himself, Don Cherry discovered his hand was stuck between Pamela Anderson's huge bosoms.
"Would you mind unsqueezing your breasts?" Don Cherry asked.
Pamela wheezed and grunted and then shook her head. "I can't control those damn things. They're too full of silicon."
"Can I get some help here?" Don Cherry asked.
So Wayne Gretzky, Dan Dan Aykroyd and a rather dead looking John Candy grabbed hold of Don Cherry and started pulling him away from the rather bosomy Pamela Anderson.
Anne Murray, George Stroumboulopoulos and Terry Fox grabbed Pamela Andersons knockers and tried to unsqueeze them to free Don Cherry's hand. David Suzuki and Frederick Banting (best friends despite the age gap) tried pulling on Pamela's rear end to see if it would do anything.
The celebrities grunted and moaned and moaned and grunted but nothing happened.
Finally Dan Dan Aykroyd asked "Maybe you should let go of her breast first?"
"Oh, good point!" said Don Cherry and his hand slid out no problem.
Wayne Gretzky celebrated by spraying himself with champagne.
